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August 18, 2011

Outsidelands (Part 3 of 3)

Sunday

I'm exhausted so I'm going to sum up Sunday in the easiest way possible. Beirut was beautiful and Arcade Fire was revolutionary. That sounds stupid and I know it does, but that's all I can say. I didn't wear a dress, I didn't freak out and have a breakdown. I just saw really really good music being played. I don't think I'm going to post songs on this one because I don't really feel like I have to. Beirut is world music, arranged in a way that is so pure and so simply beautiful that there is literally no other way to describe it when it is being played for you live. It reminds you of the girl you're not going to see again. It's like watching fireworks explode on the Fourth of July, it's like standing on a cliff overlooking the ocean, and it's like looking out over endless mountains. As beautiful as it is, as powerful as it is, it just reminds you of the fact that you are tiny and insignificant but more than that. It reminds you that you are alone. You drink whiskey and talk bullshit with friends but that scene will stick with you and that's the way that Beirut's set was for me. It was reminiscent of The National at Coachella. Just pure, honest, brilliant and beautiful music written by people who love too much. It's sad but it's real and that's how life is I guess. Rainbows can't exist without the rain and I think that's how most things that are beautiful and true come into being. Bon Iver's new album sucks because he's happy and things are working out in his life, he doesn't have to go to a cabin in the winter to shout out all the pain that he had to deal with. Justin Vernon can be paid to go into a studio and sing falsetto and people will still buy it. It isn't his fault that things are working out in his life, it's just hard to create beautiful things when your life is as beautiful as it can be. Whereas when you are miserable you can craft these intricate little fantasies that may not be real, they may just be little lies, but they let you hold on to hope. The hope may be hopeless, and romance may be dead but I can't change who I am or what I feel and that's really all I have to say on the subject.

Arcade Fire just wrapped the festival up in a nice bow. People come together to participate in something revolutionary. Although we live in a time and age where people are so shackled by labels and titles, people can come together and embrace something positive. I just hope that's enough in this day and age. Yeah there are divides between electro, rock, hip hop, funk etc. I just hope we can one day realize that it's all just expression. Whether it's a rock concert, a novel or a love letter, it's all just people trying to reason out unreasonable things. Art stems from emotion and a deep human need to try and fix what's wrong, what's making us unhappy. And when you get to the point where it's just the loneliness that's killing you, or an environment, or a lack of food, you have to do something irrational to let people know that you are still here goddamn it. You are still here sounding your barbaric yawp, singing songs that may have been written by someone else but they are still for you, you sing songs for yourself and not anybody else.

So yeah I am going to keep doing this. I don't know if it's right or wrong, if anybody will even bother to read it. And I am going to keep writing, and playing music and being honest. That's just who I am, I have an insatiable need to continue to reinvent myself, to continue to change and grow and to continue to pretend like what I am writing is actually making anybody think, and that's just because I have to. I don't mean to sound angry but sometimes I am. I don't mean to sound crazy but sometimes I am. I don't mean to sound depressed but sometimes I am. All I've realized through my 2 decades on the planet is that I am not special, everyone feels the same things that I do, the only difference is that I don't care if people don't like it. I'm hopped up on misguided confidence and I'm not going to be stopping anytime soon. I just hope some of you will enjoy the ride.

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